Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Big Things!
John and I have some big things on the horizon.
And no, I'm not talking about our baby due in May. While that certainly is a big thing, there are actually a handful of other big things possibly headed our way in the next few months.
First, John finally got offered an interview for that job he applied to back in September. And he went on that interview. And it went well. It was actually a 3-day long interview that included him being interviewed 14 times by 14 different physicians and giving a 1-hour talk on a topic of his choice. Eek! Talk about high stress! But I have every confidence that he nailed it.
And so now we wait to hear back from them.
Once we hear back, we have to decide... what comes next? Do we pick up and move to east Tennessee? Do we move right away or wait until after baby is born? Do we rent once we get there or look into buying a house? Do we even want him to take this job?!?
Lot's of up in the air details, folks. It's been crazy around here.
And in addition to that crazy, I've got my own crazy going on.
I've been accepted to attend a Creighton Model FertilityCare practitioner training in January outside of Nashville, and I'm pretty sure I'll be going. Eek!!
I've always been interested in becoming a practitioner, especially since Creighton and NaPro have done so many wonderful things for me, I've just never found the right time and I never thought there'd be a training close to Memphis. But then Sew posted about attending a training nearby and my interest was instantly piqued!
At first, I thought it was a long shot, especially with baby being due halfway through the 11-month training, and with training cost being kinda high, AND with the real possibility of us moving to another part of Tennessee (with no Creighton or NaPro presence) in the next few months. But the more I prayed and thought about it, the more I felt called. And so I applied. And now I'm going.
Which ALSO means that I'll probably be phasing myself out of my youth ministry job here real soon. Yikes!
So, a new job for me, possibly a new job for John, possibly a big move here soon, AND a baby on the way.
BIG THINGS, I tell ya!
Please pray for us as we continue to discern our next steps.
And if you know of anyone looking to learn the Creighton Model, consider sending them my way. After my training, that is. :)
Thursday, December 11, 2014
How We Told
I should preface by saying we didn't do anything creative at all to announce our pregnancy. We were too excited. We just wanted to call and tell the everyone! And so we did. Sorry if that makes this post a little boring.
I should also mention that neither of our families live in town, so maybe that's why we lacked creativity in our announcement. All of it had to be done over the phone or FaceTime, so we were pretty limited by that. At least that's what my non-creative side wants me to believe.
The first person I told, aside from John of course, was my sister.
Actually, that's a lie. The first FIRST person I told, aside from John, was Emily over at Mama Holi. I was nearly going crazy waiting for my husband to get home from work and just needed to reach out to someone who understood pregnancy and infertility and the whirlwind of emotion when you finally get a positive test. So I emailed her and support ensued. It was just what I needed.
Then John got home, I took 2 more pregnancy tests just to be sure, and we spent the rest of that evening in shock and total elation.
Later that night, when we finally went to bed, I couldn't fall asleep for nothing. There was just too much excitement running through my brain. And when I finally did fall asleep, it didn't last for long. I was wide awake at the tip top of the morning, about to burst if I didn't tell anyone our news. So that's when I decided to tell our first loved one: my sister. I knew she'd be awake, so she was the perfect place to start. I called her and immediately just blurted out, "I'm pregnant!" Excitement ensued. We chatted for a while and then I told her to keep it hush hush since we weren't sure how long we'd wait to tell the rest of family and friends.
That didn't last long. We decided that we wanted to share the news with our families and close friends as soon as possible, so that this little life could be celebrated and prayed for immediately.
When we called my parents, they were out at a restaurant and couldn't FaceTime. I considered offering to call them back once they get home, but John thought they would suspect something was up. So I just went ahead and blurted it out and my poor mom cried in the middle of the restaurant. Ha! It was beautiful. This'll be grandbaby #3 for them, so they're pros when it comes to being Memere and Poppa. But that didn't stop them from being oh-so-excited!
We did get to FaceTime John's parents, as they were home when we called, and after sharing our news the first thing my mother-in-law said was, "Is this an adoption thing?" Ha! Since we had been homestudy approved for a while, they knew that an adoption could happen at any time for us, so I think she thought, "We're pregnant!" meant that we were matched with a birthmom or something like that. It took some explaining, but quickly she came to understand that we were literally pregnant. :) And then they proceeded to be thrilled for us. Actually, I've never seen my father-in-law so giddy! It was adorbs. This'll be the first grandbaby for them, so definitely a cause for major celebration.
Over the next few weeks, we told all our siblings and close friends, and of course they were all thrilled. Again, it was mostly phone calls and us saying "we're pregnant!" and then lots of happiness, so they're not all worth detailing.
BUT! I do need to mention my sister-in-law's reaction, because it was probably the best of all.
We FaceTimed her and her husband and after dropping the bomb, her response, no exaggeration, was "SHUT THE F*** UP!" followed soon by, "NO F***ING WAY!" You stay classy, Auntie Kathleen. :P
Announcing a pregnancy is almost always met with SO MUCH JOY. But announcing a pregnancy after 2 years of infertility? ... That's cause for some serious expletives.
Let's just say we LOVED every moment of shocking the crap outta everyone.
Oh, and in case you're wondering... NO, we haven't put it on facebook yet. As far as I'm concerned, all the important folks know about Baby Schweitz by now, so no need to blast the news in faceland yet. But when we do, I'll be sure to use my creative side to make up for all the non-creative announcements we made in real life. Perhaps something like this?
I kid, I kid. We're way classier than that. But it probably made you giggle, am I right?
Also... NO, I haven't told my coworkers yet. Call me crazy, but this is just a case of me not wanting tons of attention from work people. I'm getting to the point where hiding under baggy shirts isn't as easy now, so I imagine the cat'll be out of the bag within the next week or so. But up until now, I've enjoyed keeping this joyful little secret all to myself at work.
And there you have it. All the details of how we told our loved ones about Baby Schweitz. It may not have been the most creative or interesting approach, but it was honestly perfect to us.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
20 Gifts I Love to Give (or Get!)
It's that time of year again! Time to light the Advent wreath, sip hot cocoa, and drive yourself nuts trying to pick out the perfect gifts for your loved ones.
For some reason this year, John and I had our act together and (mostly) finished Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving. Pretty cool, right? Feels nice to be me right now. But that didn't come without a bit of work on our part. We sat and thought and thought and sat and browsed the internet and got annoyed with how long the process was taking, just like the rest of ya. Except this year we started gift brainstorming and shopping in October. OCTOBER, I tell ya. CRAZY, right??
But actually, who am I kidding? I LOVE giving gifts!! I love the thrill of finding that perfect, thoughtful gift for my special someones. And the joy and love they receive simply by opening our gifts and realizing we were thinking of them. Sure, it can be frustrating when you're stuck on that one relative who's nearly impossible to buy for, but overall, gift shopping and gift giving are two of my favorite things ever.
And I like to think I'm pretty good at it. (Not bragging, of course.)
So, for your shopping and giving pleasure, I give you some of my all-time favorite gifts to give (and receive!) with pictures and descriptions and links, oh my! Hope it's useful!
(Psst - If you're related to me and know you'll be getting a gift from us this year, you definitely want to skip the rest of this post. Spoilers ahead. Don't say I didn't warn you in all italics.)
This year, some of my loved ones will be getting a 6-month subscription to the Cravery, a bakery that delivers out-of-this-world tasty cookies straight to your
If neither of these sound appealing, do some research on other subscription boxes. Seriously, there are a zillion options out there: wine of the month, bacon boxes, craft boxes, kids' toys boxes, and so on. A box to suit everyone on your list! And oh what fun it is to look forward to receiving a gift subscription box full of surprises in the mail even after Christmas is over. A great gift indeed!
Alright, so we all probably played Candyland, Chutes & Ladders, and Kerplunk as youngsters, so this gift suggestion likely isn't all that inspiring. But, the main point I'm trying to make here is get games for young kids, not clothes or toys that have simple functions (light up, make noise, annoy parents) or more clothes. Games are interactive and keep the kiddo you're buying for smart as a whip! My niece loved getting Candyland from us when she was three, so you can definitely start 'em young. Get gaming!
And just like our favorite little kiddos' brains, our adult brains need some game time too. Two of my favorites are Pandemic and Bohnanza, and they're both great as two player games, so you don't have to have a crowd around to dive in. Pandemic is a cooperative game, so you play together instead of against each other, to rid the world of fast-spreading diseases. And Bohnanza is just a wild wheeling-and-dealing, extremely interactive game that involves silly puns and bean farming. Oh, and there's also always Cards Against Humanity for your more crass relatives. Or folks looking for lots of inappropriate humor. It's ridiculously, so inappropriately hilarious. Don't say I didn't warn you.
For your loved ones who love the kitchen, how about some awesome cookbooks? If you've got a friend who loves low-cal, low-fat yummies, checkout the Skinnytaste Cookbook. Or if your friend is more into decadent stuff (bring on the butter!), the Joy the Baker Cookbook is probably more her speed. For Sriracha lovers, there's the Sriracha Cookbook, which John and I own and enjoy very much. And for your friends who love science and cooking, I definitely have to recommend The Science of Good Cooking by Cook's Illustrated. That one explains how to cook any and everything to perfection and why certain cooking methods are better than others. Geeky.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
It's a...
SURPRISE!!! We're not finding out the gender! CRAZY, right?
Reactions to this news have ranged from...
"It just seems so silly to wait! Why would you not want to know?"
to
"But how will I know what color to buy?"
(Ahem, pretty sure any baby can wear any color... just sayin'.)
to
"That's the way to do it! Best surprise of your life!"
So yeah, it seems like opinions are wildly split on this one. But John and I both agreed, years before pregnancy was even an option, that we were up for the surprise.
And when people say sassy things to us like, "I couldn't do that. How could anyone ever do that?" I've got two canned responses...
1.) It's what my mother did with all four of her pregnancies. It just seems normal to me. :)
and
2.) I guess we don't mind being patient on this one.
After all, we waited 2 years just to get pregnant, so this little practice in patience seems easy to me. Plus, I read somewhere that not finding out the gender beforehand can actually help during labor by giving you an exciting goal to push toward. (Literally and figuratively, of course).
"I'm only pushing because I want to find out if it's a boy or a girl, gosh darn it!!" Sounds about right.
PLUS, most of the baby stuff we get will likely be in neutral colors, so totally reusable when (hopefully) baby siblings come along. We're frugal like that.
And also, it's really just exciting and kinda magical not knowing. People guess all the time, which is a fun game! Most people actually say GIRL, while the Chinese gender charts (which I looked at for a good laugh) say BOY, so who really knows?
All I know is that we're excited to be having a BABY, no matter the gender. So a surprise it shall be!
Though, I can't resist. Would you like to take a guess? ...
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Pregnancy After Infertility
In the two years we suffered, my body failing cycle after cycle after cycle, I watched my whole world change around me.
The way I interacted with others.
My relationship with God.
What I spent most of my time daydreaming about.
What I spent most of my time talking about.
What I spent most of my time crying about.
The amount of time I spent in a doctor's office.
The number of medications I took.
My willingness to undergo a diagnostic surgery.
My marriage.
What I ate.
My feelings toward baby showers and pregnancy announcements and big bellies and the diaper aisle at the grocery store.
Who I befriended.
My plans for our married life.
All of this changed instantly. Along with about 500 other things.
Infertility takes normal, happy-go-lucky life and turns it on its head, with barely anytime to breath between.
Thoughts go from, "We're going to be parents in 9 months!" to "I'm not sure we'll ever be parents" in a matter of 6 unsuccessful cycles.
What a sad, lonely, tumultuous time.
While there were still many fruits during our 2 years of infertility -- growing closer to God, trusting in His will more than my own, strengthening our marriage, and so on -- it was still very raw, real, and painful. And not at all what we had expected and planned.
So it should come as no surprise that infertility has colored this pregnancy too.
While we're over-the-moon excited, feeling blessed beyond belief, and so thrilled to have our dreams finally coming true, I can't shake the feeling that our time spent with infertility has changed the way I'm experiencing this pregnancy.
But actually, I think it's for the better.
While I don't love that I'm still absolutely afraid every single day, even now at 15 weeks, that we will lose our sweet baby, even though statistics say there's only a 0.5% chance at this point (I feel as if these fears wouldn't have been so strong if we had gotten pregnant right away, as we would have been living in a "la la la, life's so perfect, life's so easy" kind of world)...
And while I don't love that being pregnant means I've "crossed over" and unintentionally left all my amazing IF friends behind, still suffering, and in addition, that I may be causing more of their pain...
Now that I can look back and reflect on all we've been through, I do love many of the lessons that my 2 years as an infertile taught me...
Our infertility has helped me realize just how much of a blessing this baby, and any baby, is.
Our infertility also makes all my crazy pregnancy symptoms feel like a dream. Puking and migraines and low energy? BRING IT ON! I love it. These symptoms are nothin' compared to what life without them was like.
Our infertility will help us welcome any of our possible future pregnancies with only joy and excitement, (probably) even "oops" babies.
Our infertility has shown me just how precious human life is and, as a result, acts such as IVF and abortion hurt me to my core more now than ever before.
Our infertility gave us a completely different perspective on suffering, and now when John and I encounter suffering of any kind in the future, we will try to approach it in a much more spiritual way, more trusting of God's will.
Our infertility helped me realize that being "open to life" can take on so many different forms, so long as we're "open to God's will." I will never again look at a family of 2 and assume that's the way they want it, or that their lack of children means a lack of fruit.
Our infertility has also helped me be more compassionate toward everyone, especially those still in waiting. I will never forget our suffering. Even though it's not part of our day-to-day anymore at this point, it's still very much a part of us, and therefore a big part of how I'll interact with others.
And finally, our infertility has helped me to try to put others first more often. I know that now my blog (and life!) has shifted gears a bit, many of you may have to look away from certain posts or on certain days or maybe even forever. Trust me, I know what a bump pic or a post about baby gear can do to a suffering heart. If you're hurting, please know that even though it seems I've moved on, a big part of me worries a bit whenever I hit publish on a pregnancy post. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.
(Side note -- If I ever write or say or do something insensitive (I'm aware, I'm not perfect :P), please please please let me know. This blog will probably look a bit different from here on out, but it is never my intention to hurt anyone.)
Whew! Infertility sure has taught me a lot!
And who knows... maybe I would have figured this all out even if pregnancy did come easily. I obviously can't say for sure because I never lived that fertile-myrtile life.
Also, it's worth pointing out that I'm most certainly not trying to say that couples who do get pregnant right away have no clue. I'm very happy to acknowledge that there are folks out there WAY smarter than me. If you already knew all this stuff, you rock!
I just know that infertility has changed me. And I'm ok with that.
Because, while it was hard to see all this while we were still struggling, hindsight sure is powerful. I've been changed for the better. And life will never be the same.
Praise God!
Stay tuned for my next installment, coming your way approximately 6 months from now, in which I discuss Parenting After Infertility. It'll sure be somethin'!
Monday, November 10, 2014
Little Happies -- One Last Link-Up, At Least for Now
"This is the joy which we experience daily, amid the little things of life, as a reponse to the loving invitation of God our Father: 'My child, treat yourself well, according to your means... Do not deprive yourself of the day's enjoyment' (Sirach 14:11, 14)" -- Pope Francis
If you're happy and you know it, link it up!
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Stephanie's Recipes: Butternut Squash Quesadillas
Monday, November 3, 2014
Little Happies -- Holidays, Henna, Hot Peppers (and a Little Bit of Fashion Too)
And that's all for this week, folks! Hope you have a happy one. Catch ya next time. :)
"This is the joy which we experience daily, amid the little things of life, as a reponse to the loving invitation of God our Father: 'My child, treat yourself well, according to your means... Do not deprive yourself of the day's enjoyment' (Sirach 14:11, 14)" -- Pope Francis
If you're happy and you know it, link it up!
Monday, October 27, 2014
Little Happies -- Candy & Costume
"This is the joy which we experience daily, amid the little things of life, as a reponse to the loving invitation of God our Father: 'My child, treat yourself well, according to your means... Do not deprive yourself of the day's enjoyment' (Sirach 14:11, 14)" -- Pope Francis
If you're happy and you know it, link it up!
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
First Trimester Symptoms (Just Documentin')
The end of my first trimester is fast approaching and I'm just like... WHAT?!
Seriously, it's still wild every day to think that I'm pregnant. I think, this can't be my real life! Pinch me, I'm dreaming!
But then I run to the toilet and puke all over it and then it's like... no pinch required.
I kid, I kid, mostly. But, I'd like to take a second to just sit right here and document some of my symptoms. The good, the bad, and the just plain weird.
I should preface by saying that I love every stinking one of them, even the bad ones, because they're a reminder of the beautiful little life growing inside me and this major blessing we've been given. So I promise, no complaining going on here. Just good ol' fashioned documentation so that I can look back 10 years from now and be like, oh... that's what that was like!
So, the good.
Being sleepy and lazy. It's weird to call it good, but I've mostly enjoyed how incredibly tired I've been these past several weeks. I'm thinking the progesterone I'm naturally making + the progesterone supplements I'm taking = double extra sleepiness. But perhaps it's just normal pregnancy sleepiness. Anyway, while it makes wanting to go into work each day a challenge, it also means I get to be sooooo lazzzzzy when I'm not at work, and growing another human gets to be my excuse every time (and a good excuse at that!). I spend most of my hours at home on the couch watching my fave shows on Hulu or Netflix, and letting my husband do all the cooking and cleaning. He's a saint, folks. Seriously, what a joy it's been to sit back and take a break from the busyness of real life. Tiredness kinda rules!
And the bad.
Well, there have been a bunch of these. But like I said before, I still love every one of them.
Constant mild nausea. It really hasn't been that bad. As in, I've been able to completely function like normal with it. It just makes the next symptom a little worse...
Food aversions. Because of the mild nausea, most foods are not appealing anymore. It's like a game trying to figure out what I want to eat at any point in time. And usually once I figure out what I want and then eat it, I never want it ever again. A few exceptions to this: PB&Js, cheese and mustard sandwiches with pickles, Carnation instant breakfast (chocolate only, please), and apples and oranges. I could eat any of those pretty much any day.
Puking. Yep, the baby's made me puke, the little rascal. I think I've only puked a total of 6 times, and every time it's over, I actually feel SO HAPPY because I feel like it's baby saying, "I'm growing healthy in here, Mom!" So again, it's a totally welcomed bad symptom. And so far it's only happened when I'm at home, thank goodness!
Constipation. SO BLOCKED UP. Milk of magnesia has become my BFF.
Migraines. I've only had a few, but they throw me off my game. And headaches here and there too.
Pimples. Since when did I go back to my middle school years? My face is a pimply mess, my back is a pimply mess. I think I have more pimples than freckles now. What ever happened to that pregnancy glow?
Lower back pain. Especially by the end of the night. I'm worried about this one because if I'm feeling it kinda rough now, what's it gonna feel like when I'm actually carrying a little bowling ball around on the front?
And the downright weird.
Nipple tenderness. This one is perhaps an over share, but MAN, they're sensitive! And that's all I'll say about that.
Linea nigra. That brown line that runs from the bottom of your belly button to your pubic bone. Whoa! This one just came outta nowhere starting a few days ago.
Overheating. This was actually my first symptom! The night before we got the positive test, John noticed that I was as hot as a furnace. And that's not referring to my good looks. I waaaayyyy overheat, at night especially.
Hairy stomach. So weird. Maybe I'm just making it up, but I swear my stomach hairs are a little longer and a little darker than normal.
Oh, and symptoms I was expecting that never showed...
Frequent urination. Nope, peeing like normal.
Weight gain. Nope, more like weight loss. Oops. But my doc says it's ok, and hopefully now that the nausea and food aversions are starting to subside, I'll get my appetite back and a few pounds will jump back on.
Tender breasts. Nope, normal breasts. Aside from the nipps, that is. TMI. (Also, why did I just say "nipps"?)
A baby bump. Still my normal size. Actually, from what I've read, the bump usually doesn't appear until somewhere around weeks 14 through 20, especially for pregnancy #1. So, it may be a while still 'til I'm sportin' a bump.
Alright, well that's all I can think of right now.
And just in case you're curious... I'm a little over 11 weeks today! We had an appointment with our new (much closer) NaPro doc yesterday and got to see the little wiggle worm through ultrasound. The babe even did a somersault while we were peaking in. It was so surreal! I'm not joking, through almost the whole experience it just felt like I was looking at someone else's ultrasound. Even with all the symptoms I just listed, it still doesn't feel real! How can that cute little baby be growing in ME? I'm not sure I'll believe it 'til baby is actually in my arms. Which is a long way away, so maybe I better start figuring out another way to convince myself that THIS IS HAPPENING.
While it's feeling more real as each day passes, I'm still scared out of my mind that we're going to lose our little one. But, I'm gonna stay positive here and keep repeating what I guess I just coined as my new stay-positive phrase: This is happening. This is happening. This is happening.
Holy crap, this is happening!!!!
And I couldn't be more scared/nervous/anxious/shocked/happy/joyful/thankful/excited!
Monday, October 20, 2014
Little Happies -- Even More Pumpkins
Just like last week, I've just got one pumpkin-related Happy for you today.
"This is the joy which we experience daily, amid the little things of life, as a reponse to the loving invitation of God our Father: 'My child, treat yourself well, according to your means... Do not deprive yourself of the day's enjoyment' (Sirach 14:11, 14)" -- Pope Francis
If you're happy and you know it, link it up!