Creighton Model Practitioner Training: We Did It!

I know you're all sitting on the edges of your seats, waiting to hear how Creighton Model practitioner training went.

Guys, we did it!

Stephanie + Sew = brandy new practitioner interns <3

8 days and 7 nights of learning, studying, sleeping, rinsewash&repeat.

They don't call that bad boy an immersion course for nothing, I tell ya.

Sew and I arrived the night before classes started and settled into the house we were borrowing, AKA a priest's house. He was out of town. On an unrelated note, he also apparently stores old dead fish in his fridge, so we had to use the backyard and (thank Heavens) the low, wintery temps as our refrigerator for the week, to avoid our food absorbing that stink and gagging over fishy smells every time we opened the refrigerator door. I do not joke, folks. It was smmmelllllly. But mostly hilarious. I digress.

After settling, we met our teachers and three other classmates for a pizza dinner. Turns out, not only was a blessed to be taking this course with Sew, I was also blessed to be taking it with a blog reader!! (Hi, Stephanie!) Crazy small Creighton world.

From there, it was just a whirlwind. The first two days of classes are Anatomy & Physiology ON STEROIDS. Vulva this, ovulation that, estrogen and progesterone and pituitary gland, OH MY! So much to learn and so little time. But we did it! On day three, we took a big, fat mid-training Anatomy & Physiology test and ROCKED it. It felt so good. Then we went on to learn all about charting mucus, working with clients, how to keep a good record of our teaching, and all the other nitty gritties that come with the life of a practitioner. Basically, it was more information overload. But we absorbed it and came out on the other end ready to do this thing. We ACED our final exams, felt huge weights lift from our shoulders, and headed on our merry way back to our hometowns, excited to take on our first clients.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wee bit scared. I totally am. I'm afraid of taking on too much at once. I'm afraid of messing up somehow. I'm especially afraid of not being able to find enough clients in the east Tennessee area once we move.

But none of that is worth fretting over. Yet.

We're still in the prepping phase now. We teach our first Introductory Session next weekend (eek!) and then get the ball rolling from there. Lucky for us, we've connected with the NaPro doc here in Memphis, so he's basically handing us a gazillion clients ready to go. It's pretty amazing. And scary. But mostly amazing.

Practicing the Intro Session

I get to teach women about the beauty of our natural cycles. About God's perfect design for our bodies. And how, with just a few extra observations each day, we can know so much about our gynecological health.

I'm seriously going to be opening some eyes, people.

My new job rocks. :)

And if I wasn't sure enough that this was a Divine calling, check out what God planted right in my face the day I returned from training...

At Mass on Sunday, I hear this responsorial psalm: Here I am Lord, I come to do your will. 

Yup, sounds about right.

And then the Second Reading was all about... well here, just read it:

Brothers and sisters:
The body is not for immorality, but for the Lord,
and the Lord is for the body;
God raised the Lord and will also raise us by his power.

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?
But whoever is joined to the Lord becomes one Spirit with him.
Avoid immorality.
Every other sin a person commits is outside the body,
but the immoral person sins against his own body.
Do you not know that your body
is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you,
whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?
For you have been purchased at a price.
Therefore glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 6: 13C-15A, 17-20
(Emphasis in bold by me.)

I mean, if St. Paul wasn't speaking to the NFP teachers of his time, I don't know who he was talking to!!!

I kid, I kid. I'm sure lots of folks heard lots of different things in this glorious reading this past Sunday, but my heart was looking for confirmation in my new role as a FertilityCare Practitioner Intern. And it definitely got it. Thanks God!

Gosh, pretty sure "Therefore glorify God in your body" needs to be my new tagline or motto or something.

Oh, and if you have no idea what any of this Creighton/NaPro mumbo jumbo is about, call me up, email me, let me know. I'll tell ya all about the Creighton Model and then some. You're gonna love it.

And if you do know what I'm talking about, THANK YOU! Thank you for the support, the encouragement, the prayers. I would not have made it through, heck, I wouldn't have even gone if it weren't for all of your cheerleading and gentle nudges along the way. You guys rock.

Now here goes nothin'!

In Which I Speculate On Why Pregnancy Finally Happened

Before I dive in, I need to preface by saying while I have some idea of why my last cycle was successful, I do not know the mind of God and therefore, that makes this all speculation. Still, it's fun to speculate. :)

I'll start with a list of what we've done in the past year and a half while working with our NaPro doc...

A hormone profile showed low pre-ovulatory estradiol.
A uterine biopsy showed endometritis (infection).
An ultrasound series showed normal ovulation.
A laparoscopy was performed and a very mild case of endometriosis was excised and tiny uterine polyps were discovered.
A hysterosalpingogram showed clear tubes.
A seminal fluid analysis came back relatively normal.

And the medications I took during the cycle we conceived...

Femara (for low estradiol) on CD3, 4, 5
Biaxin (for infection) CD8 thru peak
Progesterone P+3 thru P+12

Plus, we mustn't forget the Anti-Inflammatory Diet.

So, of all these things, where do I think we finally went right?

Let's just say I've been calling our conception a Femara-cle!! (Get it?)

So yeah, I'm pretty sure it was the Femara that did it. But how can I be so sure?? Well, I can't. BUT! It was our first cycle using Femara!! So either it was just a crazy coincidence OR Femara was our miracle drug. I choose to believe the latter. :)

That's not to say all the other stuff we did was for nothin'. I'm pretty sure every step along the way was important. Clearing out the endometriosis, treating the infection, checking to make sure everything else looked normal... all important! We just had one thing left to do and that was increase the pre-peak estradiol. While I'm not sure at all that Femara did that (I didn't have levels checked that cycle), I'd say it's still a pretty good guess. I was actually on Clomid for 7 cycles before switching to Femara, so it's not like we didn't try to improve the low estradiol situation as soon as possible. I guess Clomid just wasn't doing it for me. But Femara did!!

Now, as for the Anti-Inflammatory Diet... I do think that it can help with conception. In fact, I know it can! My NaPro practitioner struggled with infertility for years, got the whole NaPro work up, went through surgery, tried it all. It wasn't until she started the Anti-Inflamm Diet that she got pregnant. So, I know it can help! BUT, I've got to come clean and say I don't think it did the trick for me.

Why do I say this?

Well, let's just say, while I was totally rocking out on the diet for several months, I totally threw it out the window the cycle we conceived. That cycle started with fried chicken and mac and cheese on CD1, then John's birthday came around and we threw a pizza party where I at tons of pizza AND cake, and then we went on vacation to visit the in-laws and I ate whatever I wanted for that week and a half.

So yeah, I'm sorry I can't be the poster child for the Anti-Inflammatory Diet. But that doesn't mean I don't believe in it anymore. While it didn't do the trick for me, I'm still convinced it can do the trick for the right person.

Along with all this NaPro stuff, there are two other things that I think may have helped...

First, a week and a half of relaxation and fresh mountain air during the end of the cycle. This is by NO MEANS me saying that I just needed to relax to get pregnant. Duh. I hate that line along with the rest of ya. I clearly had medical issues that needed fixing in order for conception to happen. But, I do think that relieving myself of stress during the 2 week wait may have been helpful. And that's exactly what that little trip did. It was all fun and games and quality time with family. Doesn't get more stress-free than that!

And second, I was 6 days into a novena to the Holy Family when we found out we were pregnant. This is by NO MEANS me saying that if you had just prayed that novena with me, you'd be pregnant too. Or that you need to pray more novenas in order to conceive. It was just a beautiful novena in which I asked the Holy Family to intercede for us and bring our desire to become parents (through either conception or adoption) to God, and I was so moved when our prayers were answered! I've continued prayers to the Holy Family ever since, for protection of our little one and a safe pregnancy. It gives me goosebumps to think that the Holy Family is interceding and looking out for us. So amazingly beautiful.

But most obviously, the real reason for all of this is...

God.

Without Him, none of this "perfect cycle" stuff would even have mattered. I praise Him every day for this precious gift He's entrusted us with. I have no idea why He chose this cycle as the one or why He chose US, and I likely never will this side of Heaven, but I am eternally grateful!!

And so, for all those reasons above (and probably a bunch of hidden others), that's why I think my last cycle was the one. Maybe I'm 100% wrong, but those are the best guesses I've got. :)

And Then There Was Progesterone

Well, three months have come and gone since our last NaPro follow-up, so we went for another one. I was pretty bummed that our last plan didn't work. Womp womp. But perhaps these new adjustments will do the trick?

Here are the deets:

Switch Clomid to Femara. Dr. G said that Clomid is most effective in its first 6 cycles of use, so since I've been using it longer than that, it's time to change things up.

Switch HCG injections to progesterone in pill form (Prometrium), but not taken orally (if you catch my drift). I'll take, or I guess insert, one pill each night for P+3 through P+13. He recommended switching it up because, like Clomid, I've been doing the HCG thing for more than 6 cycles now. I'm a little confused by the switch to progesterone because I don't have a post-peak progesterone issue. In fact, aside from a little dip in progesterone and estrogen on P+7, my progesterone and estrogen are both in the normal range post-peak, at least according to the one cycle of labs we did about a year ago. So, what exactly is this progesterone going to do for me? Is it another trick-your-body-into-thinking-it's-pregnant-just-long-enough-for-a-baby-to-implant kind of drug? 

(Yes, I know. I probably should have asked Dr. G all these questions. But I had already asked him a million questions at this point and I could tell I was holding him up. Oops.)

Dr. G also said I could stop the extended release B6 and the Robitussin (both taken for mucus production) since Femara typically doesn't cause mucus to dry up like Clomid does. I will NOT miss the taste of that Robitussin, thankyouverymuch.

We also have plans to repeat the seminal fluid analysis, but that's the last time I'll mention that since it's super awkward and such. More awkward, in fact, than putting progesterone pills in my girl parts, ifyouknowwhatImean.

And I'll be visiting Dr. G again next cycle to do a hysteroscopy, so he can really take a look at my uterine lining and that pesky infection that won't go away. I imagine he'll see a little infection monster just lounging on a beach chair, sipping a pina colada out of a coconut, saying to Dr. G, "Oh, you want me to leave? But it's so cozy and relaxing here." Infections are rude. And don't get social cues. 

So, that's it! I'm still on the Biaxin to treat the endometritis, which I take with a very strong probiotic, but everything else has been adjusted. 

Since I got tons of helpful advice when I mentioned starting Biaxin, I figured I'd throw this all out there to get some feedback again. And also just to keep all you curious folk in the loop about our NaPro treatment. 

Anything I should know about switching to Femara? Or taking progesterone? What crazy side effects should I anticipate? What do you think of these adjustments overall? 

Thanks for your help, friends!

While We Waited, Part 2

Still waiting for adoption to happen, so the series continues...

Let's talk about waiting, 'cause...

I'm starting to see a pattern here.

When you start working with a NaPro doctor, things are a little crazy for a while. Do this test, now this one, ultrasounds, blood draws, try new meds, more blood draws, how about surgery?!

It's a lot to do and take in all at once, or even over the course of a few cycles. But after you've gone through that initial work-up, things settle down for a bit. You're still working with your doctor, still actively "trying," but as the unsuccessful cycles pass you by, follow-ups with your doctor and tweaks to your treatment happen less and less.

At this point, we're only meeting with our NaPro doc once every three cycles. And I'll tell you what that feels like. Lame. Definitely lame. It's no fault of anyone's, except my stupid uterus. But to be given a little tweak to your treatment and then given the instructions to "try it out" for three months before you come back, it's a bit of a bummer. It makes things feel like they're moving slowwwww as molasses. But I get it. That's just the nature of the beast. Getting pregnant doesn't happen overnight, at least from our perspective, so it's really just one big waiting game. And if that treatment didn't work, well, then it's on to the next one for three more cycles. Waiting, waiting waiting.

So, when our adoption adventure really took off, I thought, "Thank goodness, the waiting is finally over! We'll be matched in no time!"

Yep. I really thought that.

Doy.

Go ahead. You're allowed to call me crazy on this one. I just really thought I'd have more control.

Just like NaPro, when you first pursue adoption, it's busy busy busy. Fill out this form, now fill out a hundred more, get some background checks, find some references, let us inspect your home, now how about you make a profile that details exactly who you and your spouse are in 10 pages or less?

Another case of a lot to take in at once! I can remember looking at the checklist of what we had to do to be approved to adopt and just feeling way overwhelmed. But over time, piece by piece, of course you get through it. And then, just like the NaPro treatments, things suddenly really slowwww dowwwwn. You go from barely having time to breath between all the checks on the checklist to, "Wait, where did everyone go?"

After you hand in that big stack and you social worker says APPROVED, that's it. The lonnnnng silence, as I like to call it, begins. Days feel like weeks, weeks like YEARS. I'm serious. We'll go two weeks without hearing from the agency and it'll feel like an eeeeeternity!

Are catching the similarities here?

I'm pretty sure I've said it before, but it's worth repeating. In my opinion, the motto for adoption and, now that I think of it, NaPro treatments too, should be "Hurry Up and Wait!"

Sure, not everyone has had the same NaPro or adoption experience as us. Some folks get pregnant or adopt like that. But definitely in our case, it's all a big waiting game right now.

Or I suppose, if we want to call it what it really is... it's all about learning patience right now.

A friend of mine recently opened up to me about her struggles with infertility. She told me she just prayed and prayed and prayed for patience. And then, after quite some time of trying, she finally found herself pregnant. Though, as her little ones came along, she found that her prayers didn't change at all. Patience, patience, patience is still her number one petition to this day.

So, I suppose all this NaPro and adoption waiting has something to do with that. The "p" word. 'Cause God sure knows the need for patience won't go away once cute kiddos come along.

But still. First with NaPro, now with adoption... can't there be something happening in my life that doesn't also have to teach me a lesson in patience?

;)

And now, let's wrap up with a "While We Waited" tradition. At the end of each of her pregnancy update posts, blogger Mama Holi answers the same 17 pregnancy-related questions to log all the changes and ups and downs of her pregnancy. Well, that inspired me to do the same, but obviously not about pregnancy. So, I tweaked the questions quite a bit (for example, adoption doesn't change the innie- or outtie-ness of a belly button, so I probably don't need to answer a question about my bellybutton every time) and made myself a cute little way to keep track of the changes and ups and downs of our adoption journey! Let's give it a whirl...

How far along? 1 month of waiting so far.
Best moment of this week? Connecting with a bunch of really great future-adoptive mamas online through a google hangout chat! It's so lovely to talk to ladies who really get what I'm going through.
Worst moment of this week? Sorry to be vague, I may post more about it later this week, but having to make a really tough decision regarding a potential adoption.
Mood? Pretty at peace right now. Trying to embrace the one-on-one time with John while it still lasts. But I also still have a little case of "hurry up already!" Normal.
Any word from the agency? Yes! The special ringtone on my phone went off and my heart JUMPED out of my chest!! We were presented with a birthmom and baby situation, but ultimately nothing panned out.
Boy or girl? We're open to either! But husband not-so-secretly hopes it's a boy.
Most excited about? Meeting our forever baby, duh!
Biggest fear? Not bonding like we're supposed to with our little kiddo. I'm reading up on it now! For sure, I want to do this right! I talked to John about it earlier this week and he said he's super excited to wear our baby around in one of those "masculine baby carriers." That made me smile lots! And made me a little less worried about bonding. Skin-to-skin contact with the baby is huge! We'll be pros, right? (Anyone have attachment advice for us?)
Distractions? Lots of good ones coming up! A hands-on Moroccan cooking class with John at Whole Foods and his 31st birthday party in the works. Distraction is my middle name right now. Let's keep piling the fun stuff on while we wait! And also, that way we'll get it out of our systems before baby arrives.
Looking forward to? Hearing from the agency again! I pray it happens soon!

(PS - All "waiting" future adoptive moms or dads have my complete permission (and encouragement!) to use this on their blog or facebook or whatevs. :) Steal away!)

And Then There Was Biaxin

Just a friendly heads up -- I'm going to mention both endometritis (infection of uterine lining) and endometriosis (uterine lining grows in the wrong places) in this post. I warn you because they're easy to misread if you don't look at the word closely enough. I do it all the time. Oops! So there you go. Now on to the good stuff...

We met with our NaPro doc earlier this week for another one of them follow-ups. We're at the point in our treatment where our doctor just tweaks a few things, then lets us go for several cycles to see if new tweaks have worked. If not (AKA if we don't get pregnant), we meet back with him in a few cycles to do more tweaking, then more waiting, until at some point we're either pregnant or we've adopted a newborn and don't even have time to think about fertility treatments anymore. Both sound nice to me!

At my appointment, Dr. G took a look at our charts and asked us if there was anything we were worried about. I mentioned that pesky infection (endometritis) we found a while back, before surgery. John and I both took a few rounds of antibiotics to treat the infection, but I never really felt it was gone. During my surgery, Dr. G found some micropolyps, which usually indicate endometritis, but when he scraped some off and sent the cells to the lab be tested, it came back negative for endometritis. So we just left it alone and didn't do another round of the antibiotics. Which of course left me thinking that we were ignoring quite a big issue. But Dr. G said not to worry about it, so I (mostly) didn't.

Now that it's been 6 months since surgery, and I've been on Clomid and HCG injections for several months, I felt it was appropriate to bring it up again. And when I did, Dr. G was very responsive. There's a test you can do to check for endometritis, which I've had done before, way early in our NaPro workup, but it involves you being fully awake while they scrape off some of the lining of your uterus with this evil tool, and we both agreed we'd rather avoid that. So, Dr. G recommended just assuming the infection's back and treating it with Biaxin.

Dr. Hilgers, founder of the Pope Paul VI institute and King of all things NaPro, tends to focus treatment on the things he can see. And endometritis is one of those annoying things that is, in many ways, invisible. As far as I can tell, it's not painful, it doesn't have many (or any) signs to indicate its existence, and no one really knows what effects it can have on infertility, as it hasn't really been studied properly. So compared to other diagnoses, like endometriosis or PCOS, it doesn't really stand out that much and therefore, often gets pushed aside, ignored. Though Dr. G did mention that Dr. Hilgers is just now starting to look into endometritis, its causes, its effects on infertility, and its best treatments. You hear that, friends with infection? There's hope!!

As of right now, one of the recommended NaPro treatments for endometritis is Biaxin, an antibiotic to be taken on CD8-14. Hopefully that little antibiotic will be just enough to clear up all the icky infected stuff and make room for a little, precious baby to implant. Very hopefully.

But if not, we'll be meeting with Dr. G again in three cycles to discuss the next tweak. Unless, of course, we are blessed with a baby through adoption in the meantime. Then the NaPro treatments will go on hold for quite some time, I'm sure. :)

During our appointment, I did also mention that I'm quite worried about the egg-sized fibroid sitting at the top of my uterus -- is it heavy enough to weigh things down and close off my tubes when I'm standing?? But Dr. G assured me that that was not happening and that removal was way more risky (5% chance of losing your whole uterus!) than keeping it there, especially since it's on the outside of the uterus, far away from the all-important lining.

So that's all for now. Biaxin it is! And Clomid and HCG and pursual of adoption will continue like normal. I'll most certainly give you another NaPro update when (optimistically: if) we meet with Dr. G again in three cycles.

Oh, and if you have no idea what I'm talking about with all this NaPro mumbo jumbo, check this out. If you're struggling with infertility, prepared to be wowed. It's all good stuff!

Adopt-A-Blogger (Humbled.)

Something pretty awesome happened...

I have been chosen as the Adopted Blogger of the Month for January!

And so my heart is filled with happy.

If you've never been to this little corner of the interworld before, welcome! My name is Stephanie and I'm married to my best friend in the whole wide everything, John. We currently live near Memphis, TN; I work as a youth minister at our parish and John is a pediatrician. On the regular, you can find us doing things like playing board games (our new favorite is Agricola), cooking up a storm in the kitchen, being Catholic, cuddling to episodes of Doctor Who (and soon Downton Abbey!), and being nerdy, quirky goofballs together. Life is good.

A little over a year ago, we started TTC. It didn't take more than a few months for us to really feel something was wrong. So, at exactly the 6 month mark ('cause Stephie doesn't wait around), we sought out a NaPro doctor and started treatment. Endometritis (infection) was the first issue we discovered, followed by low periovulatory estradiol levels, an egg-sized fibroid at the top of my uterus, and finally, after a laparoscopic surgery this past September, a mild case of endometriosis.

Currently, I'm on Clomid on CD 3-5, B6 and Robitussin for mucus, and HCG injections on P+3, 5, 7, 9. I'm also slowly finding my way around the anti-inflammatory diet. My NaPro doc, Dr. G, is hopeful that we will conceive in the next few months; it'll just take some time to get the medications and treatments perfectly right. I, on the other hand, am not as hopeful; it's just what happens when you've never passed a pregnancy test. So, we're also working on our adoption home study at this time. If we can get all of our paperwork squared away, we should be approved to adopt in the next month. Though our journey has not quite shaped up the way we'd thought, we're pretty darn excited about where all this is leading us.

So here's hoping that parenthood will be part of our story in 2014. :) Nothing would bring me more joy or make me feel more complete than experiencing the miracle of parenthood alongside my loving husband.

Many, many thanks for this beautiful opportunity, to be showered with your prayers throughout this month. What a blessing! Please know that my prayers will be with each and every one of you during the next 31 days.

What just happened? (And some free prayers.)

WARNING: This post is mostly just a big glass o' whine.

Let me tell you, I think I have some cycles elves conspiring against me, because I don't think my last cycle could have been any more of a disaster!

It all started around peak time. I have trouble identifying peak these days because a certain type of man-fluid looks exactly like the peak-type stuff and I can't seem to get a clear reading on things. So, much to Dr. G's dismay, I use ovulation prediction kits (OPKs) to determine when I ovulate.

I was low on OPK sticks this cycle, so I knew I had to use sparingly. I thought I got a positive ovulation test, though it was a little hard to read. I just went with it and assumed, because of the ridiculous abundance of peak-type mucus I saw that day, it was probably right. Though, three days later I had some not-so-great, but pretty stretchy mucus a few times and because I had no OPK sticks left, I just decided it probably wasn't peak and I should just ignore it (and chart it as an 8).

So then, when what I thought was Peak+5 came around, I went and got my blood drawn. And again on Peak+8 (because Peak+7 Thanksgiving) and again on Peak+9. Just as the doctor ordered. But this time around, the guy who drew my blood was new and forgot to label my vials. So by the time I was ready to pick up my blood to ship it off, it was too late and we couldn't tell which vial was drawn on which day.

I figured that Dr. G could still use the samples, so I sent them off on dry ice like I was supposed to. I used FedEx Ground like I did last time because that got them to Dr. G's office overnight, which is what needs to happen in order for the blood to stay frozen and fresh. But, dummy me didn't realize holiday season = busy FedEx = package will take two days to deliver instead of one. Doy. I should have just paid a little more to have them shipped guaranteed overnight.

So the blood arrived warm. The dry ice had evaporated. And normally the lab won't even run the tests if the blood isn't fresh. But Dr. G convinced them to.

I arrived for my monthly follow-up appointment with Dr. G just in time to find out that of the three vials of blood sent to the lab, only one came back with results. And as far as I can tell, my progesterone was still normal and my estrogen was still low.

At this point, I was already 1 day late for my period, though I wasn't letting myself get too excited, because I was starting to second guess the day I had identified as peak. Dr. G offered to do a serum pregnancy test, but I quickly protested. And he agreed that that was probably ok because the numbers from the blood draw were not really indicative of pregnancy anyway.

Then he pointed at my overabundance of awesome 10KL (peak-type mucus) right around peak time, which made him say, "This is great because now we don't have to worry about Clomid messing with your mucus. It looks perfect." Which bummed me out because, like I said, I'm pretty sure I actually peaked 3 days later, on a day that did not have great mucus at all. And I tried to tell him this, but he was pretty convinced that I identified peak correctly. Sigh.

He said he'd like to start me on HCG injections on Peak+3, +5, +7, and +9 for this next cycle. It sounded good to me! Except, on the ride home, I got a call from the lab that sends the HCG and their machine that makes the HCG broke. It's fixed now, but they can't send out any HCG until it's tested and approved, which takes 3 weeks. Which means we'll be cutting it oh-so-close to when I'll actually be needing it. AND we may not even been in town by the time it arrives, right before Christmas. Which means we might not even get to use it this cycle.

And then my period still took two more days to arrive, which of course got me all too hopeful, even when I knew it shouldn't have. Because I had every sign under the sun that I wasn't pregnant. But still, when you've never had a late period before and then all of a sudden it's 3 days late, you get hopeful. Even if you are mostly sure that you misidentified peak.

Bah humbug!

So, to summarize:

• Hard to read OPK that made me think I ovulated.
• Ran out of OPKs when I wanted to test again.
• Misidentified peak because of silly OPKs and silly boy-fluid.
• Blood did not get labeled properly.
• Blood did not get shipped properly.
• Blood did not even get drawn on the right days because I misidentified peak.
• Only one of three vials of blood got results.
• Dr. G is convinced my mucus is good when it's not.
• HCG machine broke.
• Period was "late" (but not really) and I let myself get excited about it.

Let's say it again, all together this time: BAH HUMBUG!

I just don't get it. How could that much have gone so wrong in just one cycle?

Hopefully this means all the bad things are behind us and this next cycle will be perfect! Right? 

Also, you may think I'd be pretty down in the dumps about all this, but actually, I was only sad for about 30 minutes. So that's pretty great. I'm just sharing it now because I thought the shear ridiculousness of this past cycle was sure to make some of you laugh. I mean, it's pretty funny, right? That everything just went that wrong? 

Alright. Now that I have all my whining out of the way, I must say, I'm pretty excited to do the HCG injections this cycle (if they arrive in time). I'm hoping it's the magic touch! 

---

Ok, and now for something totally unrelated, but totally awesome.

I forgot to mention in my last post..

When we attended Mass at a lovely church in Hot Springs, the celebrant, who was a visiting Benedictine monk, asked us all to go to his Abbey's website and send the monks our prayer intentions. They pray 5 times a day and, if you send your prayers to them through their website or by calling, they'll pray for you and your needs by name at their services. How nice is that? John and I have already sent our intentions in, and I hope you will too! 'Cause what's better than a whole bunch of really holy guys sending up prayers for you? :)

The Day I Saw My Insides

I had my surgery follow-up appointment with Dr. G on Monday earlier this week. We went into it knowing we'd see a short video of my insides during surgery, but that didn't mean I was exactly prepared to see my insides. Honestly, I guess nothing can really prepare you for that.

I remember watching an episode of the Magic School Bus when I was younger where the bus shrunk and they were able to go inside a human body. They explored and Ms. Frizzle, the teacher with the awesome red hair, explained the different body parts and their functions as they passed by. I remember thinking, "This is neat. I wish I could see inside my own body like this." Well, Stephanie of the past, your wish has been granted. But seriously, it was a little weird.

Apparently it's a book too?

I have now seen my: liver, intestines, bowels, uterus, cervix, ovaries, fallopian tubes, and probably a few others, though I'm not exactly sure. I had trouble keeping track of all of it while Dr. G explained what we were looking at. It's not like your insides are labeled like the pictures we studied in our high school biology books.

The video was only about 5 minutes long. We were able to see the little robotic instruments he used to go in and perform the surgery. He mentioned the different organs as they came on the screen and pointed out several small spots of endometriosis in a few different locations and a golf-ball-sized fibroid at the top of my uterus. The end of the video was a short clip of the hysterosalpingogram, where they inject a blue dye into your fallopian tubes to see if it flows through easily. I was able to watch it glug, glug, glug straight out the end of both tubes; Dr. Gray said this was a good sign of clear tubes. Yay! But still weird to watch.

When the video ended I said something like, "Thank you for sharing that with us. I never thought I'd get to see something like that," with a slightly goofy look on my face. Dr. G chuckled a little. I mean, he sees stuff like that every day. It must be comical when he gets to share that part of his work with his patients.

The rest of the surgery follow-up went pretty well. He said he was very hopeful for us especially based on how mild the endometriosis was and how good the anatomy of the uterus and fallopian tubes looks. He also said the biopsy came back negative for another infection (woohooo!), but I'm not so sure it's gone for good. If it does come back, he said prednisone would be another treatment option.

Then he asked how I was feeling about everything we had found since we started working with him. And that's when I almost started crying. I am truly, truly grateful for everything he's done for us so far, but I can't help but think that now being diagnosed with endometriosis, endometritis, and low periovulatory estrogen, we're looking at a long road of infertility struggles ahead of us. Sure, things are looking better than when we first started working with him 5 months ago. The endometriosis has all been excised and the endometritis has been treated (twice). We actually know what our issues are and have a good plan set up for us. But I'm still feeling pretty low about all this stuff. There's just no guarentee, ya know? We still may never be able to have children. And even if we do get pregnant, how about secondary infertility? John and I have always wanted a bigger family, but with my biological clock (loudly) ticking, and all the struggle we've had so far, that's really not looking like a reality anymore. At least not in this present moment, anyway. I just feel like doors are closing and dreams are fading. And I told Dr. G all that. And what a sweet guy he is... he listened so patiently.

I went on to tell him that we've started our home study for adoption, not because we're giving up on having biological children, but because we're very open to growing our family both biologically and through adoption. He definitely perked up when I mentioned it. Turns out, he and his wife have adopted 3 babies now. And they already had 4 children before they decided to adopt. He said it was the best thing he and his wife had ever decided to do. He gave us good information about adoption agencies and told us the stories of how they adopted their children. I actually felt very comforted by his stories and his excitment for adoption. He was so sweet to allow me to steer the conversation away from infertility and my diagnoses for a second to talk about adoption - it stopped an ugly cry in its tracks.

When we finally did get back on the topic of my treatment, I was able to hold it together while we talked about what things will look like from here on out. He's going to be working with me every cycle now, tweaking things here and there, checking hormones post peak, performing ultrasounds when necessary, and so on. We'll meet up towards the end of each cycle for a cycle review and discuss what to try the with the next cycle if I'm still not pregnant.

The plan for this first post-surgery cycle is Clomid, just a low dose on CD3-5. I'll have an ultrasound around peak time to see how the Clomid affects ovulation and then a blood draw post-peak to make sure Clomid isn't messing with hormones then. We'll see how it goes and then reassess and adjust from there.

Oh. I almost forgot. This one's a biggie. Before we left his office on Monday, Dr. G uttered the most hopeful thing I've heard in a while. He said based on everything he's seen, he has every reason to believe we're in the 60-80% couples who are helped to acheive pregnancy with NaPro. It's just a matter of time now.

Sounds like a dream come true, right?

I have to be honest - I was skeptical when I heard it. And I'm still skeptical today. (The fact that it's CD1 doesn't help.) In fact, today I've been feeling pretty darn low about all of this stuff. I'm sad and I'm angry and I'm feeling forgotten. But I guess I'll still continue hoping because it's probably (hopefully) only a matter of time now. At least that's what Dr. G thinks. Hopefully he wasn't just trying to make me feel better. Doctors don't do that, right?

Praying for patience, patience, patience. Please, God, give me patience!

And please, God, help me to stop thinking about what my insides look like. It was sorta neat to see, but now it's just weird. Please and thank you :)

My Surgery Story

On Wednesday, I worked a normal day at work, tied up all the loose ends, and headed home to get all my surgery ducks in a row. 

The sweet husband prepared dinner, a delicious lasagna soup, then insisted on taking me out for dessert. Ok, so maybe the dessert was my idea, but he was definitely on board. For some reason, I really wanted a banana split, so he did some internet searching and found a frozen custard place nearby that had them. And it was delicious...

After we ate every last bit of that deliciously oversized sundae, we found a Redbox and rented the most happy, lighthearted movie we could find, which happened to be Epic. It was super cute and just what I needed to keep my mind off of surgery. The movie ended, we went to bed, and I thankfully fell asleep very quickly.

The alarm went off at 5:45am and we both felt mostly well rested. We grabbed all of our stuff for the overnight stay, including our two favorite stuffed animals, Mij & Picksey, did a quick get ready routine, and headed out the door.

John drove us the whole (1 hour) way to Jackson while I mostly just relaxed in the passenger seat and randomly asked him questions about surgery. Gosh, sometimes it is such a blessing to be married to a doctor. He put me at ease about everything and assured me it was all going to be ok. I think at this point my biggest fears were going under and having to fast all day. Not really equal fears at all, but I guess that's just how it goes.

We arrived a little early to the hospital, filled out all the necessary paperwork, paid the bill, and then were escorted up to a pre-op holding room. I think we arrived in the room by 8:30am and settled in very quickly. I was given a hospital gown and some slippers to change into, which I did, and then a kind nurse came and took a blood sample. Soon after, another nurse came to hook me up to some IVs - one in each hand since I was having robotic-assisted surgery. The husband decided this was a good point to take a picture.

He suggested the thumbs-up pose.

One funny thing we wondered about for a while - we didn't really know much about the hospital we were in, just the name really. So John kept wondering if we were just in a pre-op holding room or if it was also the room I'd be recovering in later. We were hoping it was just the pre-op room because it had no couch or bed for John to stay the night with me and no bathroom. I mean, we would have made do, but we were confused and laughed about it for a bit. 

Soon another nurse came in and explained it was just a pre-op room. Phew! She came in to take my temp and blood pressure and cover all the last minute surgery details. She ended up talking to John for a while about his job as a pediatrician - apparently her grandson had just spent several nights at the hospital where John works. She also loved that I was a Youth Director and kept telling us she had walked into a "God room" when she walked into our pre-op room. It was sweet, although I was a little annoyed when she started telling me all I needed to do was relax and forget about it and I'd be pregnant. I held it together and just smiled and nodded, I mean she was just trying to be nice, but seriously, two things: 1.) If I could "just relax" and get pregnant, trust me, I would have done that by now. And 2.) I'm in here getting surgery because of our infertility! Don't you think that means it's a little more serious at this point than "just relaxing"? I obviously didn't say any of this to her, but I sure did think it for a second. I let it go so quickly and was just happy with the fact that she said she'd pray for us. Overall, it was a sweet interaction.

Dr. Gray dropped in to see me before surgery. He asked me to tell him what kind of surgery I was having done, to make sure I understood what I was in for, I guess. I passed the test and then he went on to tell us that things were a little delayed but that my surgery would likely start by noon, only about an hour late. He was extremely kind and his presence was very calming.

Johnny and I took some of our extra time to say some prayers to all the saints that came to mind. Just a quick "St. Anne, pray for us, St. Gerard, pray for us," and so on. I also had him tell me a story that I was going to try to remember post-surgery. He said some of the anesthesia drugs can affect your short-term memory and cause you to forget things even before the drugs were administered. I thought that was really odd, so we decided to have some fun with it. (I did, in fact, remember the story right after surgery, though I can't remember it now. Weird, right?)

The anesthesiologist arrived to chat quickly and then things really picked up from there. A fourth nurse dropped in to administer some relaxation drugs (versed), then a certified nurse anesthetist stopped by, and then next thing I know, I'm being whisked away on my hospital bed! I said a teary goodbye to my sweet husband and cried down the hallway to the operating room.

When we arrived in the room, it was so cold! They helped me from my bed to the operating table, put a breathing mask on my face, told me to breathe deep, and then told me they were going to administer some drugs to put me under. And then the drugs worked perfectly because the next thing I remember is waking up in the post-op holding room. 

I was groggy and mostly half awake, but I remember a kind nurse asking me how bad my pain was on a scale of 1 to 10. I think I told her 2 or 3. They must have already pumped some nice drugs in me, because I wasn't feeling half bad! I also remember asking her what time it was. I wanted to know how long my surgery was because I knew the length of the surgery probably equaled the severity of whatever Dr. Gray found when he went in. She said it was around 2:30pm, so I knew surgery had only lasted about 2 hours. Praise God! This probably meant something good!

I was held in the post-op room for 30 minutes to make sure everything was stable and then they wheeled me off to my recovery room. I remember feeling so happy that I was going to see my husband soon. As soon as I reached my room, there he was to greet me! I don't really remember much of what we said, but I know I was happy to be back with him because I knew that being reunited was calming his nerves. 

After a short while, I decided I wanted to get up and try to use the restroom, but as soon as I sat up (assisted by the nurse), I quickly felt nauseous and like I had made a bad decision. The nurse laid me back down and put an alcohol pad on my nose to help with the nausea. Thank goodness she did because I was so afraid I was about to throw up everywhere. I decided now was not the time to be going to the restroom, so I took a nap instead.

Several hours later, I woke up and remember being pretty shocked that it was dark outside. I was also shocked at how not hungry I was, considering I hadn't eaten anything since 8pm the night before and being hungry was one of my biggest (silly) fears going into surgery. Turns out anesthesia and/or pain meds can do some weird things to your stomach and its sensation of emptiness. Johnny went and grabbed some dinner and I did my best eating some jello, chicken noodle soup, part of a turkey sandwich, and some saltines, although the saltines didn't work so well with my drryyyy, dry mouth.

The night was pretty uneventful. I think we watched HGTV for a few hours (my guilty pleasure!) and then I drifted off to sleep. The nurse came in to check on me here and there, taking my temp and blood pressure, but that was about it. I was very surprised at how minimal my pain was and how easy sleep came. Thank you, pain meds :)

Dr. Gray stopped by to visit pretty early the next morning and brought with him the details of the surgery. John had already chatted with Dr. Gray right after surgery, so I had a few of the details, but I was anxious/excited/nervous to hear Dr. Gray's take. 

He did find some endometriosis! Going into surgery, I would waver back and forth on whether or not I thought he'd find endo. I really didn't have any noticeable symptoms of it except for the infertility, so I really wasn't sure if I had it. Turns out I did! He found it in a few places around my uterus - right side, left side, front, and near one of my ovaries - and on my cervix. He said it was a very mild case and he was able to excise all of it. Thank you, God!! 

He also said he saw the fibroid we had seen previously on ultrasounds. It was on the top of my uterus, on the outside, about 1 1/2 inches in diameter, in a spot that most likely isn't affecting our fertility. I had asked him before surgery if he was thinking of removing it, but he said removing fibroids can cause uterine scaring, which is probably worse than having the fibroid stay, especially if it's not causing trouble. I am honestly a little worried that it might be weighing things down and causing my tubes to close off when I stand up, but perhaps this is an irrational worry? I suppose it's something we can look into in the future if we are still having trouble.

We were happy to hear that my tubes were completely open, though a little surprised when he said he saw some teeny tiny polyps in my uterus which usually indicate endometritis, or uterine infection. He was surprised to see it because John and I had both just taken a full course of antibiotics to clear it up. So it seems like this infection just doesn't want to go away. He sent off a sample to be tested and we should hear back soon about whether or not I still have an infection.

Overall, I think our news is rather hopeful. Dr. Gray said about 1 in 7 patients get pregnant just from having the surgery. I know statistics are not on our side here, but here's hoping we're in that lucky 14.3%. He also said that the severity of endometriosis does not necessarily indicate its affect on fertility. So, though my case was mild, we could continue to have problems well into the future. Only time will tell now :)

Before he left, he asked us to stop by his office (right up the road) on our way out of town to pick up a video of the surgery. That's right, a video of my insides during surgery. I thought this was a little strange and I haven't brought myself to watch it yet, but I guess it's becoming more common these days.  I think I might wait until our follow-up appointment with him in a few weeks to watch it. He said he'd go over it with us during the appointment and explain what's going on on the screen. Cool, but a little weird. I guess I'll report back on that later.

We packed up our few belongings in the room and a wheelchair dude was called in to wheel me away to our car. I put a comfy pillow between me and the seatbelt and just relaxed the whole ride home. Husband helped me up the stairs to our apartment, another part of the process I was worried about, but it was much easier than I had anticipated. I quickly found my way to the bedroom and crawled into bed for a little while. 

Johnny went out and picked up my pain meds and bought me a most beautiful bouquet of flowers, a recovery gift from him and his parents. Such a sweetheart, right? He helped me move from the bed to the couch and we watched movies and enjoyed each others' company and ate easy-on-the-stomach meals for dinner. 

My home recovery station - flowers from husband and in-laws, flowers
from my parents, water, meds, get well cards. All the necessities :)

The next day, I was already starting to feel better! I took it slow in the morning and put two very simple tasks on my recovery list - walk to the mail box and back with husband and shower. I accomplished both and was feeling so good that we decided to go on a little outing! Johnny and I were both excited about upgrading our getting-old-and-slow phones, so we went to the Verizon store and bought two new iPhones. Quite a treat for a girl 2 days post-op, amiright? We also stopped by our favorite Chinese food restaurant and picked up some take out for dinner. The wonton soup and a liiiittle bit of fried rice were exactly what the recovering belly needed. 

It was great to be getting back to my normal activities, though I think I pushed it a little too much because I was feeling pretty groggy the next morning. And the gas pain in my shoulders was horrible from the start of the day. I allowed myself lots of lazy time, including lots of time with my heat pack and lots of watching online episodes of The Pioneer Women (another guilty pleasure). I gave myself a few more recovery tasks - stop taking heavy pain meds, only ibuprofen, take another shower, and go to mass with husband. I accomplished all three! And husband treated me to Five Guys for dinner, which I figured I'd regret in the morning, but it was not the case! And their fries were SO so good.

That brings me to today. And today I'm feeling back to my normal self, only four days post-op. All I can say is, what a blessing! God has been so good to me through this whole process. I mean, it probably helps A LOT that I was only under for 2 hours, but seriously, thank you, God! And thank you to everyone who prayed with us through this process. I know it was through the power of prayer that everything went as smoothly as it did. 

Here's hoping and praying that the next steps in our journey go smoothly as well. Wouldn't it be so nice to be one of those 1 in 7 that get pregnant right after surgery? I guess we'll just have to wait and see!! 

Surgery

Just wanted to check in and say all is well! Surgery was Thursday, we stayed overnight at the hospital, returned to Memphis yesterday, and I've been taking it easy ever since. I plan on telling my whole surgery story later, but for now, I'm going to continue with my relaxation :)

Thank you for all the prayers. I really could not have gotten through this surgery without all of your love and support. Hugs to you all!

Stephanie & John's Next Steps

My first hormone panel back in April went from several days before peak to several days after peak. Btw, peak = ovulation, just so we're all clear :) We found that my periovulatory (aka pre peak) estradiol (aka estrogen) was rather low. However, after peak, my estradiol and progesterone were within the normal range. Since low periovulatory estradiol can cause problems with ovulation, my doc recommended an ultrasound series to see if I was actually ovulating. After about 2 weeks of ultrasounds, it was confirmed that it does at least look like I'm ovulating. Hooray! Go ovaries!

Fast forward to early July. My doctor wanted me to repeat just the pre peak hormone panel, to see if the low estradiol was perhaps a one time thing. He called me yesterday to discuss the results. And the results were the same as last time. My periovulatory estradiol is still rather low. And that's still a bit odd, knowing now that I at least look like I'm ovulating (based on the ultrasound series).

So what does that mean? Where do we go from here?

I give you Stephanie & John's next steps:

1.) Doxycycline.

I mentioned before that I had endometritis, an infection of the uterine lining. My doc discovered this a few months ago when he did a biopsy of the lining. It's something that could interfere with fertility, so we wanted to clear it up right away. He put me on 2 weeks of an antibiotic (doxycycline) for treatment and within days I noticed changes in my cycle - my cramps were far less painful and there was no more brown bleeding at the tail end of my period. I was pretty pumped to see that! Though, within a month, the symptoms started to return. Bummer. I started to wonder if maybe John and I were passing the infection back and forth to each other. John has a few possible symptoms of infection too. I mentioned this to the doctor yesterday and he agreed it would be best for both of us to do a(nother) dose of the doxycycline to clear things up for (hopefully) good.

2.) Laparoscopy.

Ahhhhhh! Surgery!

Though I'm mildly (okay, moderately) freaked about this, I know it's for the best. I went ahead and told the doctor that we're ready for it. I'm ready for it. We're talking about possibly the end of September. Please, please pray for me!

During the surgery, he'll go in to my abdominal cavity with teeny tiny incisions and look around with a scope for signs of endometriosis (when the lining of the uterus grows in the wrong places). If it's found, he'll remove it (assisted by a robot - everybody do the robot dance for a second, k thanks) unless it's a severe case. In severe cases, another, more invasive surgery needs to be scheduled to remove the endo. However, he says it's rare that endometriosis is that severe. And if endometriosis is not found, at least we'll know that it's not part of the issue. The surgery has a 1 - 2 week recovery and should give us a better idea of what's causing our hormone and infertility problems.

While I'm under, they'll also perform a selective HSG, where they shoot dye into my fallopian tubes to see if they're blocked, and another biopsy to check for infection. Just more steps to help us figure out our infertility.

3.) Clomid.

After this current cycle with antibiotics (we can't TTC while taking doxycycline) and my next cycle with surgery (no TTC right after surgery I'm guessing), we'll start trying Clomid to help raise my estradiol levels during the pre-peak phase of my cycles. Clomid is typically used for patients that aren't ovulating - Clomid tells the body that it's not producing any estradiol (even though it is), thus helping your body naturally produce more of its own estradiol - but it can also be used for patients with lower-than-normal estradiol who are ovulating. I'll be on a low dose (25 mg on cycle days 3, 4, and 5) which will hopefully be just enough to put my estradiol in the normal range. I hear it can also cause increased emotional changes (AKA angerrrrr and sassiness and moodiness and grrrrrrrrr at the world), so I'll be extra careful to notice these changes and hopefully not take it out on anyone.

Acupuncture and diet modification (avoiding wheat/gluten) can also possibly help improve hormone levels, though we've decided to start with Clomid first.

4.) Home study.

Though all of our steps are designed to help us achieve pregnancy (and also to heal my less-than-perfect body), we know that doesn't necessarily guarantee pregnancy. Call us impatient, call us crazy, call us what you will... we're ready to be parents and we're ready to open all avenues that can get us there.

As all of you who know a bit about adoption are aware, adoption doesn't happen over night. Sometimes it can be a year or two of waiting, even after the home study is complete. Instead of trying for pregnancy for the next few years only to find ourselves still childless and then having to wait another year or two for adoption, we're going to work on both at the same time - achieving a pregnancy and opening our hearts to adoption. Honestly, even if we get pregnant tomorrow and end up naturally having a bunch of precious babies, we'd still be open to adoption. The more I read about it, the more I'm drawn to this beautiful, love-filled opportunity. As is my lovely husband.

For all yous guys out there who don't know anything about adoption - a home study is the first big step in making adoption happen. After the appropriate paperwork is filled out an sent in, an adoption agency sends a social worker to your home to look around and make sure conditions are safe and sound for baby. They will also conduct an interview with us to make sure we're in a good place to be parents (emotionally, physically, financially, etc.). After our home study is hopefully approved (which could take up to 6 months), we'll be ready and waiting to adopt. And the thought of that makes me very happy.

---

So there you have it, folks! This will likely be the plan for about the next 6 or so months. After surgery, Clomid is a 3 to 6 month thing, so if we're still not pregnant, we'll still have a handful of options - we can try things like the acupuncture or the diet modification or switching to Femara (an alternative to Clomid). We'll also (so long as all of our ducks are in a row) probably be approved to adopt by that point in time, so there will be plenty to look forward to.

Infertility can leave you quite hopeless at times, but as of right now, I'm quite alright with this plan :) Thank you, to God, to our awesome NaPro doctor, and to all our wonderful supporters out there, for getting us to this point. We are so blessed.

And now, I leave you with a teaser from John's surprise super hero themed 30th birthday party which took place this past Sunday. Expect a post with details and pictures soon...

Yes, he's wearing a cape.

My Catholic Doctor & Current Diagnosis

We have an amazing doctor and we are SO blessed to have found him so early on in our infertility struggles.

My husband and I use the Creighton Model of fertility awareness. We learned it about 6 months before we were married and have used it ever since. Using easy-to-detect biological signs, I'm able to figure out when I'm fertile and when I'm not every cycle. I can basically pinpoint ovulation every cycle. It's pretty mind blowing when you first learn about it all. "Like, WOWZ. Just by paying closer attention to my body I can tell when I'm fertile? No way! Cool." That's basically what every woman is like when they first start learning about fertility awareness.

Picture borrowed from the Creighton Model website.

We used the Creighton Model to help us avoid pregnancy for the first year of our marriage and figured it'd be smooth sailing when it came time to achieve pregnancy. Instead of avoiding each other during the fertile time, we would switch to using those times to make a babe and BAM, a baby would be here before we knew it.

But as I've said before, it wasn't that easy. Month after month after month it wasn't working. And because we knew so much about my fertility, after 6 months, we knew one of the two of us probably had a problem. Actually, I pretty much knew after 3 months. I just felt it, ya know? So, after 6 months and no baby, we took the next step and found a doctor who specializes in helping couples with infertility. And as luck would have it (well, not luck... it was a blessing!), Dr. Hilgers, a Catholic doctor who originally developed the Creighton Model of fertility awareness, is also awesome at treating patients with infertility. He calls his infertility treatments NaPro Technology, short for Natural Procreative Technology.

Our initial plan was to work with one of the doctors he trained at his institute, Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha, NE. We sent off my charts to be studied and within a month, I had a response saying that just by looking at the charts, the doctor thought I possibly had an endometrial infection, hormonal issues, and/or endometriosis. Our first step was a hormone panel where I would get my blood drawn every other day for about a month so the doctor could look at my hormones. After that, if they suspected more, I would head up to Omaha for a week for an ultrasound series (to see if I was ovulating), a hysteroscopy (to look at the inside of my uterus), and a laparoscopy (to see if I have endometriosis).

The day before I was going to start my hormone panel, I joined a private Catholic infertility group on facebook and started reading some of the blogs by the women in the group. One of the women wrote about Dr. Gray in Jackson, TN, a doctor who had been trained by Dr. Hilgers and used NaPro Technology to treat his infertility patients. He also does not prescribe birth control, which we thought was pretty awesome. Instead, he has his patients use the Creighton Model, just like us, to monitor and embrace their fertility. Oh, and he's Catholic. Mega plus.

Well, I called him up! I called his office and left a message with his nurse. The very next day, I got a personal call from him and he helped talk me through deciding whether or not we should travel several hundred miles to work with the doctor in Omaha who had reviewed my charts or switch over to working with him and travel just about 100 miles to Jackson for our treatments. (Duh, the decision sounds so easy when I put it like that.) After calling my insurance company and finding out Dr. Gray and the hospital he performs surgery in are both covered (another blessing!) we decided it made the most sense to work with him.

So, I went ahead with the hormone panel and got my blood drawn every other day for almost an entire cycle. When the cycle was over, I drove up to Jackson with my husband to finally meet Dr. Gray and hand off my dry-iced blood to him. Our first meeting was so lovely! He was so patient with me and explained his plans for us. After the lab had a chance to run my blood, he was going to call me and let me know what he thought the best next step would be.

The hormone panel came back and turns out, my pre-ovulatory estrogen was lowwwwww. Like outside of the average range low. Post-peak, my progesterone and estrogen were mostly normal, though they took a dive around 7 days post-peak. From this, Dr. Gray decided I should do the ultrasound series to see if I was actually ovulating. Ya see, when estrogen is low before you peak, sometimes that means you're body isn't ovulating. You need that estrogen to ovulate, after all. So, for the next cycle, I drove back and forth to Jackson pretty much every other day for two weeks so an ultrasound tech could watch me ovulate.

Did you know stress can affect how long it takes for you to ovulate? And of course I let myself stress out about driving back and forth (1.5 hours each way) every other day to Jackson for two weeks. I also stressed out about my infertility. (What if I can never have kids?! Why do most people get to have babies so easily?!) I also stressed out about a terribly painful procedure I had done during my first ultrasound visit. (The procedure was a biopsy, where they scrape off some of the lining of your uterus and test it to see if it's infected. Ouch. Lots of blood and lots of ouch.)

Due to the stress, my ovulation took a while. The follicle (which has the egg in it) grew verrry slowly on my right ovary. But eventually it did rupture! ... which is usually when the egg is "shot out" into your fallopian tube and then can be fertilized. Hooray! Though the ultrasound technician did have trouble seeing evidence of an egg in my follicle. Boo. However, Dr. Gray wasn't too concerned about that.

A little while after the ultrasound series wrapped up, Dr. Gray called me and told me the biopsy (ouch.) showed that I actually had an infection of my uterine lining, called endometritis (not to be confused with endometriosis). He prescribed 2 weeks of an antibiotic and said the infection would be cleared up by then. Wahoo! I had insta-hope! Perhaps this endometritis was the problem and by fixing that, we'd get pregnant easily. My infertility woes were over!!

Woahhh, not so fast, Stephanie.

Dr. Gray said that although the infection could have been the only problem, it's not likely. He still thinks I have endometriosis. That's when the lining of your uterus grows in weird places. It can cause all sortsa pain (although, I've never experienced any) and can cause maj probs when you're trying to get pregnant (experiencing some-a that). So, our next step is surgery, a laparoscopy. Assisted by a robot, Dr. Gray will go into my uterus with a camera and look around for signs of endo. If he sees any, so long as it's not a severe case, he'll remove it. The surgery has a quick recovery and only requires two small incisions.

John and I decided that we're going to try 3 more months before we go ahead with surgery. If we're still not pregnant, we'll go ahead with the laparoscopy from there. And if we're still not pregnant 3 months after surgery, we'll get more serious about adoption. We realize that even after surgery, some women take several months or years and doses of different drugs to make pregnancy happen. We just aren't ready to wait that long to be parents, ya know? So we'll open some doors by looking into adoption while we still try to get pregnant. It's win-win.

Even with all these struggles so far, the reason I say (and know) we're blessed is because...

1.) Creighton Model led us straight to NaPro Technology, which helped us find Dr. Gray.
2.) We didn't have to go through several doctors before we found one who was awesome.
3.) NaPro Technology has much, much, much higher success rates than any other procedures used on infertile patients (in vitro fertilization, artificial insemination, etc.) and is completely in line with what we, as Catholics, believe.
4.) Even if I can never get pregnant, these treatments are helping to fix what's actually wrong with my reproductive system, unlike other treatments that leave the problem there and try to override it. My health is the focus, not "a baby at any cost."

I know a bunch of women who have been through several doctors and several unsuccessful treatments only to continue to suffer infertility or take 10 years to get pregnant. John and I are SO BLESSED to have been led straight in the right direction since the beginning of our struggles. Our problems are not yet solved, but we have faith that we're doing the best we can to figure this stuff out. And it's only because we have God on our side, leading us down the right path :)

(If you're reading this and struggling with infertility, I want you to take a look into NaPro Technology. It's the best thing you can do for yourself and your spouse and has the best results out there when it comes to treating your infertility. Also, know that I'm praying for ya!)