A Note to Self on CD1

Dear Future Stephanie,

It's that time of month again. Yup, the dreaded CD1. Blahhhh. Pretty lame. And I know your hopes were particularly high this month, seeing as you had just finished faithfully praying St. Andrew's Christmas Novena with the husband AND you started another new medication (HCG injections) AND you now have a whole army of prayer warriors praying for you this entire month. So it's no surprise that you're feeling a little bummed. I'm really sorry you had to have your hopes dashed again.

sad panda

But I'm here now to point out a few signs and symptoms that you will hopefully pay more attention to next time around. You know, the signs that you usually just ignore because you'd rather convince yourself that you're pregnant than not pregnant. I've been keeping track these past few cycles and it seems like the following symptoms always lead to another CD1. Just trying to help here. So why don't you take a look, take note, and allow yourself to really notice these signs next time around, before it's just too late for your hopes to be saved yet again.

If my calculations are right, when you see these signs, AF is just around the corner:

• Low energy
• Constipation
• Sore boobs that suddenly stop being so sore after several days of soreness
• Getting overheated at night
• Pimples all over your face
• Zings of pain in your nipples
• Lower back pain
• A little bit of clear, stretchable mucus a few days out
• A sensation of wetness down there
• Heightened emotions -- e.g. crying while watching Love Actually, which you've never done before
• Worse-than-usual acid reflux -- avoid ketchup, salsa
• Nausea -- I think you think yourself into being nauseous, silly
• Short bouts of cramping here and there
• Wanting to eat EVERYTHING
• Painful teeth -- that one's just weird

So, next time you encounter any or all of these signs, immediately stop all pregnancy thoughts in their tracks. It just ain't happenin', toots. 

Though, I guess it's true that you've never been pregnant and thus don't have any clue what your early pregnancy signs would actually be like. Perhaps they'd be identical to everything I've just listed here. Hrmmmm. Yeah, ummmm, just ignore that thought. 

For now, let's just hold back the hope until it's, like, P+17 and you're holding a pregnancy test and it's so obviously positive. K?

Alright, well I hope this has been fruitful! (Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to make a pregnancy pun.)

Just looking out for ya, deary.

Wishing you all the best in future cycles! Oh, and do treat yourself to something yummy (chocolate? pizza? buffalo pimento cheese dip?) and one of your favorite guilty pleasures today, will ya? You deserve it. 'Cause this IF stuff is just no fun.

With love,

Past & Present Stephanie