I'm pretty sure "Hurry up and wait" is the official motto of adoption. After all the rush of the paperwork, doctors appointments, meetings, and a home inspection, it's just time to sit back, relax, and wait wait wait for that life-changing phone call. It can be pretty tough at times, not knowing when your life will absolutely 100% change in a matter of seconds. So, I'm starting this series, While We Waited, to write about the emotional roller that is waiting in adoption, the things we do to prep for our little one, and our life in general leading up to the day that changes it all. Let's hope I don't have to write too many of these. :) This first one was written as a letter to our future child.
Dearest little one,
We're ready to meet you!
Are you almost ready to meet us? Or do you still need more time to grow in birthmom's belly? Or perhaps you haven't even been conceived yet! We may be waiting a while yet. But, sweet child, we don't care. We'll wait as long as we need to for you. You're worth it. We're just a bit excited, is all.
Just last week, we talked to our adoption agency and told them all about the stuff we have just waiting for you to use...
A beautiful crib, all set up with a plushy matress and special matress pad so your little leaks in the night don't make a big mess. We covered it all with adorable gray chevron sheets because Mom loves chevron.
Your apple-red car seat, an extra car seat base for Dad's car, and an adapter for the stroller we have our hearts set on.
Glass bottles and a little bit of formula, plus an offer from a good friend that would like to gift us her extra breast milk. You sure are loved, baby.
A few toys that I can see you playing with, eyes big and bright, with a gummy smile on your face. (Or maybe that was a gas smile. Oh, who cares? It was cute!)
A swaddly thing that I'm not exactly sure how to use, nor am I certain that you're going to like it, but we're more than willing to give it a try. Especially if it'll help you slumber sweetly.
Books on books on books about how to raise you right. We just want to be the best possible Mom and Dad for you. And we're nerds, so research is necessary.
A few disposal diapers that will hopefully last through the first few days. We're afraid we'd be taking on too much with cloth diapering from day one, so we hope your bummy doesn't mind. We promise to find the most comfortable stuff for your tush once your tush is out in this world.
Blankets and mini outfits that family and friends have lovingly bought for you and are excited to see you wear. I can't wait to bundle you up in all of it either.
While we pretty much have all the essentials, we don't really have a nursery set up for you at this point. Sorry about that. That would just be too much on Mommy's heart right now, too hard for me to paint and decorate without knowing how long it'll be before we meet you, and too hard to see it go unused for a while.
For now, all of your goodies are in our guest bedroom, where Dad also has his desk and we keep a big bed for guests to stay. (We love when our guests ask about your crib and we get to tell them all about you.) I promise we'll move most of that stuff out of there once you get here, though. You'll be the prince or princess of that little room once you're home and that's a guarantee.
We're not sure if you're a boy or girl yet, so we're looking forward to that surprise. I may be totally wrong, but I just have this sneaking suspicion you're going to be a boy. Call it my adoptive mama intuition if you will, but something is just telling me to buy blue blue BLUE! However, we'd also be very excited to go crazy buying pink and headbands and tutu skirts. So, no pressure on the gender thing, little one. You just be you.
At this point, your Dad is the calm one and I'm the trying-to-be-calm-and-sometimes-failing-but-mostly-succeeding one. Most days I keep myself distracted with work or movies or adventuring with Dad, but sometimes I just stare at the phone, hoping my loving gaze will force it to ring that special ringtone I set just for our adoption agency. (It sounds like peaceful, distant chimes.) That way, when it does ring just my normal ring tone, I'm able to prevent my heart from jumping up into my throat as I check the caller ID on my phone. If it's not the chimes, it's not worth getting excited over. I'm smart like that sometimes.
When I called the agency last week to tell them about the newborn parenting class we took (to learn all about you!), they didn't seem to know about you yet, so we feel like we'll probably be waiting a while longer. It bummed me out for a bit, realizing that we may be stuck in waiting land for a while, but only because I already know how cool you are and I just can't wait to hang out with you. I promise I'm really good at cuddling.
Listen, kiddo: We love you to infinity and beyond and that's what's making this waiting game particularly hard right now. No need to worry too much, though. Your Mom and Dad are pretty smitten with each other, so the love we share will keep us full while we wait for your arrival.
Until then, keep growing!
We just can't wait to meet you!
With all my heart,