But first, this needs to start with a huge thank you. THANK YOU, my lovely readers (family and friends included), for following me on this crazy journey. You are my strength through the tough times, my cheerleaders when it's time to celebrate, and a great support through it all. I love this little community we have here; it keeps me going when things get blah or ugly. So, THANK YOU with all of my heart. You're all awesome.
Ok, now on to the reflectifying.
Would you believe it... a lot has changed in a year! We still aren't parents like we thought we'd be, so I guess not that much has changed. But I see some serious Fruits from the past year. Allow me to talk about them...
AdoptionAdoption was hardly on the radar when I wrote that first post last year. And now it seems like it's the only thing on my radar. So, that's pretty cool. It's kind of an accomplishment getting all that home study paperwork done and such. And keeping sane while we wait for the agency to call. I'd say overall adoption has been a step in the right direction. Huzzah! Fruits!
We know a little more regarding our infertility, mostly because I was a brave little toaster and had a laparoscopy back in September. Dr. G found a mild case of endometriosis hanging out in there. We already knew about low pre-peak estradiol and infection (endometritis), but endometriosis was definitly news to us, especially since I don't really have any symptoms, aside from, you know, infertility.
As for medications, I'm currently on Clomid for an estradiol boost, sustained release B6 for mucus production, Biaxin every cycle to treat that pesky infection, and HCG injections 'cause they're cool. I'm seeing our NaPro doc again this cycle to follow-up since we're still not pregnant, so I imagine more tests and/or meds are in my future.
I have to be honest, I'm not thrilled that we're still having to figure this infertility thing out. I'm glad we have a general idea of what's wrong, but I feel like we're still miles and years away from fixing it, if ever. So, while we've learned a bit in the last year and tried a few medications, and that's good because we can check things of the list now (Fruits!), I can't help feeling like we're only inches ahead of where we were last year. But that's probably CD3 Stephanie talking.
Lots of Travel
We've done the heck out of some traveling in the past 365 days. I suppose we're just trying to shake off that travel bug before a baby arrives. Oh, who are we kidding? I'm totally going to wear that baby everywhere we go, so I imagine traveling will still be in our future. But if not, it'll be fun to look back on all the places we went pre-babe...
Nashville for our 2nd anniversary
Johnson City, TN (8 hours away) for my sister-in-law's wedding
Hot Springs, Arkansas to get away after a very bad day
Johnson City, TN again to be with John's family for Christmas
Nashville again to hear the premiere of Ben Folds's Piano Concerto
St. Louis for the Empowered to Connect adoption/foster conference
Rhode Island to visit my family and meet our new nephew
Toledo, OH on a youth ministry mission trip
And New York City to explore and visit family
Whew! We've been places! It's just nice to get away from every-day infertile life in Memphis, so time away is always majorly enjoyed. We can relax and be ourselves for a while (more Fruit!), without all the work and doctors appointments and stress and such. Good times.
An Increase in Faith & Love
Nothing quite rocks your world like infertility, at least in my opinion, because my world has been severely rocked. There are certainly days where I'm a little ticked at the Man upstairs and a little snippity with my dear husband, but overall, faith and love have grown.
I think about how small my problems pre-IF were... someone annoying me at work, a friend being dishonest or distant, my husband leaving the shower curtain open. While they all still drive me bonkers, they're the small potatoes of life now compared to IF. And I think about how those small potatoes used to be the stuff of my prayers. They were the regular requests I brought before God.
It's really hard to explain, but when you have to bring bigger things to prayer, like infertility, or death, or cancer... your faith just changes. And the more you have to ask, plead, BEG for that bigger thing to happen or stop happening, oddly, the closer you get to our loving Creator. In the process, you learn more about Him and more about yourself than you ever imagined. It seems backwards, but that's how it's worked for me. And I'm blessed because of it. (Fruits, I tell ya!)
The same goes for my relationship with John. Tough times can wreak havoc on a marriage, but by the grace of God, we have been blessed to actually see our love grow over the past year. My husband sure did take the "in sickness and in health" vow seriously. We've been by each others' side since day 1 of all this folderol and fiddle dee dee. And that's the best way to do it... together. Otherwise, this infertility would have broken me a long time ago. Like I said, I'm blessed.
Odds and Ends
And then there were random Fruits that just bring a smile to my face when I think about them. Though the last year has been childless and pregnant-less and adoption-less, it sure has had its shining moments...
I threw my husband a stellar surprise birthday party.
I turned 27 and did a bunch of cool things around town.
I tried to be a fashion blogger and you all supported it/encouraged the behavior.
I started a link-up about the Little Happy things in life and you joined in!
We got excited and announced our plans to adopt all over the internet.
And we looked really cute through it all...
|(I post this so I can remember what we looked like in|
July 2014, pre-kiddos.)
If I'm being honest, I thought for sure after I wrote that first post, we'd be pregnant in no time. I had grand plans of turning this sucker into a Catholic mommy blog the moment I held a positive pregnancy test in my hands.
Well, Ha. Ha. HA. God sure is laughing. I guess that's what happens when I try to be in charge.
While I'm not exactly thrilled to still be childless, I am pretty cool with how a year of blogging has turned out. It's great to look back on the little accomplishments, the places we've gone, how much we've grown, and how life has changed for the better. It's not what I would have planned for myself, but some really great stuff has happened in the meantime, so I'll roll with it.
THANKS AGAIN for being with me through it all!!
A year of blogging. CHECK. Now let's see what this next one brings...