My Infertility Resume

We are a special creature, us infertiles. I've been thinking about typing up my resume of skills acquired through all our infertility trials for a while now. What better time to post such a list than during National Infertility Awareness Week! Laugh with me here...

Stephanie

Spouse: John

Religion: Catholic

City: Memphis, TN

Email: stephschweitz@gmail.com

OBJECTIVES

To make a baby with my husband.

To survive life as an infertile in the mean time.

EDUCATION

Marriage

July 2011 - present (and forever)

Being Infertile

November 2012 - present

Patient of a NaPro Doctor

May 2013 - present

Home Study Approval for Adoption

August 2013 - January 2014

SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS

• Knows how to time intercourse perfectly for conception. Is also willing to stand on head to move those swimmers along.
• Can balance taking several medications at different times over the course of a cycle and never miss a dose!
• Knows how to reconstitute a medication, fill a vial with it, then stick belly with the needle and inject. All with eyes open and minimal squirming/screaming.
• Functions at work without skipping a beat while new medications are making me bonkers.
• Maintains a smile while listening to ridiculous advice from people who know nearly nothing about what it means to be infertile.
• Has an extensive list of pick-me-ups, such as silly TV shows or delicious recipes or a favorite wine, to ease the pain of another cycle day 1 arrival.
• Lets it roll off my back when someone says I'm a CRAZY CATHOLIC for not considering artificial reproductive technology.
• Has a glowing review of NaPro prepared and ready for sharing whenever necessary, especially when IVF comes up.
• Is willing to travel hundreds of miles to see a NaPro doc, a doctor who'll actually treat my broken body, not just try to place a baby in there and hope it grows. 
• Rocks some legit laparoscopy or laparotomy surgery scars. Is sometimes even brave enough to show them off in a bikini. We are warriors! See our scars! 
• Turns even the worst of situations into a cheerful lesson, so as not to let on that deep sadness is stewing inside.
• Can avoid taking a pregnancy test for as long as humanly possible. After all, we all know taking a pregnancy test just encourages your period to arrive an hour later.
• Super in tune with every sign the body can produce.
• Can change diet at the drop of a hat. If it means babies, it's worth trying!
• Can find gluten free options at any restaurant, no sweat. (Wait, what do you mean sushi isn't gluten free???)
• Will consider adoption even if adoption was never on the radar before marriage.
• Knows how to politely correct someone when they say, "Oh, after you adopt you'll probably get pregnant right away!"
• Knows how to politely avoid people who say, "Just relax and you'll get pregnant!"
• Has a 6th sense for picking out the infertile couples in the room. Will engage in loving/compassionate conversation with any other infertilies encountered. May overshare at times. Worth it.
• Still learning how to support others in carrying this same cross.
• Offers up prayers regularly for infertile (or subfertle) friends never met in real life, but friends who are closer to my heart than many in real life.
• Makes friends with every infertile, especially the Catholic ones.
• Makes friends with every adoptive couple.
• Allows myself to hope, even when things seem impossible.
• Has learned how to draw closer to God even through this difficult trial.
• Has learned how to really live out that "in sickness and in health" vow said at the wedding.
• Can write a blog about all these experiences.

Whew! We sure do juggle a lot! I bet you all can come up with even more infertility related skills you've perfected over the past few years. What would you put on your infertility resume?