Anyway, to keep my spirits up, I'm going to write about all the things we've done hilariously wrong in the past (almost) four months as parents. There's a lot of opportunity for FAIL when navigating parenthood for the first time, so it's a good thing A.) We can laugh it off most of the time and B.) John Paul will never remember all these fails.
Let's start here, shall we? . . .
So, there was this one time John was carrying John Paul around right after a feeding, without the all-important burp cloth to protect his shoulder. That day we learned the hard way, ALWAYS carry a burp cloth.
We also learned pretty quickly that diapers are ineffective if we don't point his pee-producing part down and/or we don't check the tightness of the leg holes. Both result in one of two types of warm liquid being spilled over all the things, including blankets, pants, the couch, the boppy . . . basically whatever the baby is sitting on. Let's just say we've done a LOT of extra laundry since John Paul was born. It's a steep learning curve, folks.
Then there was this other time my son gave himself a hickey. I was carrying him in our Boba Wrap and he was soothing himself by sucking on his arm. I thought it was pretty harmless and also super cute, until later, when I discovered he had a massive bruise-like hickey on his arm. I was horrified. Good thing hickey bruises heal up fast.
Oh, and we also spent the first 6 weeks of his life not realizing we had to help him take naps during the day. We were wondering why he was SO fussy and needy all the time. Take note: if a baby is yawning and fussing at you, he's probably tired, and he probably needs your help falling asleep. Got it.
Also, if you're like us and you're too cheap to buy a changing table, you will likely have to be ok with getting poop on whatever surface you're changing baby on.
Our bed, with poop on it:
We've also learned that people will judge you when you let your newborn have an iPhone. In our defense, it's an old iPhone that's permanently on airplane mode, solely used as a sound machine to soothe our sleepy baby. But mostly it just looks like 4-month old has a cell phone.
And most recently, we've been that couple who brings their baby out to bars/restaurants when we should be home letting him nap instead. At least it makes for some cute pictures!
Alright, that's enough fail for one post. I'm sure we'll have more to share as time goes on. Because it's basically impossible to get parenting 100% right, especially this first go-around. But at least it's (mostly) fun in the process!